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"This is not a memoir. Rather, this is a fraternal meditation on the question: 'Are we friends, my brother?' The story is uncertain, the characters are in flux, the voices are plural, the photographs are as troubled as the prose. This is not a memoir."
Thus Scott Abbott introduces the reader to his exploration of the life of his brother John, a man who died of AIDS in 1991 at the age of forty. Writing about his brother, he finds he is writing about himself and about the warm-hearted, educated, and homophobic LDS family that forged the core of his identity.
Images and quotations are interwoven with the reflections, as is a critical female voice that questions his assertions and ridicules his rhetoric. The book moves from the starkness of a morgue's autopsy through familial disintegration and adult defiance to a culminating fraternal conversation. This exquisitely written work will challenge notions of resolution and wholeness.

Winner of the book manuscript prize in creative nonfiction in the Utah Arts Council's Original Writing Competition.
Winner of the 15 Bytes Book Award for Creative Nonfiction.